The Modern Ketubah Blog

Every marriage is a mixed marriage

There’s an interesting article in the Jewish Week, called The Other Kind Of Mixed Marriage. In it, Abby Schachter talks about how every marriage can be classified as a mixed marriage, since no two people share the same religious background:

The fact is that Jewish life in America is so varied, and each person’s Jewish experience is so different, that it almost seems as if every Jewish marriage is an intermarriage.

I wholeheartedly agree. I believe that in some ways interfaith couples have it easier that same-faith couples because they know up front that they will have to discuss their religion and explain their traditions. While same-faith couples often assume that because they are both Jewish or both Christian, that they share a lot of the same beliefs, traditions, and attitudes. But this isn’t true. Everyone has a their own unique set of beliefs and priorities. People belong to different denominations, different regions of the country have different attitudes, and every family defines their faith in different, personal ways. Same-faith couples need to take a lesson from interfaith couples, and realize that getting married means they are combining two very different sets of beliefs. Marrying someone from a different religion forces you to reconnect with your own traditions, examine your long-held assumptions, and try to determine what is really important to you. Same-faith couples need to go through this same journey of discovery together.
Related articles:

• What you can learn by writing your own interfaith ketubah text
• Interfaith families: an asset to the community